NaPoWriMo 22: Shedding

I am upset, because I am bad at not wanting you.

I have tried, mind you–
New diverting hobbies
Coffee with other people
Sex with other people
Relationships
And all these things I always
eventually
shed like a skin
and my lust for you remains
a constant thriving thing
pulsing warmth into
the new skin growing beneath

I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment
when you sunk to those places inside me
that cannot be removed
without uprooting bits of
attached flesh,
tissues of the deep kind–
not the thin, flimsy layers
I scratch off month by month
while trying to claw down to the itch beneath.

I wish I could
(during our inevitable relapse)
wrap my legs around you
fast enough,
cum around you
tight enough,
that I could hold you within me
and not release you
until you’re willing to dig around
find the wanting you left in me,
and take the goddamn thing with you.

just…

please, please,
I want you
in
or
out
but not this aching thing
in between–
get it out of me

NaPoWriMo 21: Idly wanting

A warm tingle
sparks dully
in my lower abdomen
as I lie on my back,
stare at the ceiling,
and roll a memory
between my back teeth.

My limbs are magnetized by my lethargy.
The ground pulls them.

A finger rubs absently
at the inch below
my waistband.
My hips push slightly upwards,
never leaving the mattress,
hold a moment
and then collapse slow
like a sigh.

I am,
it seems,
too tired
for the vigorous frigging
of masturbation–
though not nearly too tired
to lie back
and idly want you.

NaPoWriMo 19: Morning Glory

Sometimes
as you’re waking
I touch you just this way–
and everything seems to
open

Your lips
eyes
nostril flare
and much lower, here–

–see?
All widening
all receptive

And you can’t seem to take in enough
breath
visual
scent
myself

Greedy one
the only choice you leave
for me, who views you thus
is to fill you over
and over
until you spill

NaPoWriMo 9: Daily Cycle

There is something strikingly
masculine
in you leaning out of
the subway doors,
while I dash to catch
and claim the first kiss
from your
clean shaven cheek–
We exchange swift goodbyes.

There is something respondingly
feminine
in me lying in bed
bare skinned with a
damp toweled head
while you lower yourself
between my thighs
to claim the first kiss
from my
smooth shaven mound
We exchange slow, reflective hello.

NaPoWriMo 8: First Hot Day

First hot day of the year.

and there I was in a suit

$500 of tailored sophistication
glued with sweat
into each conceivable crevice,
paired with
$80 of gleaming leather pump
stylishly fucking up my feet–
little business-appropriate
dominatrices

and there you were in a sundress

stretched like light
out on the park grass
You were
wrapped in floral print
lifted careless
to the thigh,
playing with a
bit of grass
between pale pink toes

How unbearably
warm it was
when I stood there and looked,
wishing myself
out of my suit
under your dress
and inside that gorgeous nook
too shadowed to see
even though you’d left
your legs resting
just a peek
apart

First hot day of the year.

I went to work
with a dry mouth
and a soaked cunt.