Smithy’s Drunk Poetry

So yesterday, I was splitting a scorpion bowl with a friend of mine at a tasty Hibachi place.

scorpion-bowl_0

About halfway through the meal the alcohol went to my head–and by the end of the meal, I was slurring a bit. Naturally, my decision at this juncture was that I should pull out my phone and begin texting my partner about Mr. Junior–his penis. This was not an unusual gesture; drunk texting his penis has become a bit of a tradition between us, a form of affection. Yet yesterday I had received good news that put me in a particularly inspired mood, and I decided that the regular cock compliments would not suffice. This time, his penis needed poetry.

The following texts were what ensued.

—————————————————

Thu, May 30, 2013

8:28pm

…I love your penis. And scorpion bowls.

8:33pm

A limerick:

I met Mr. Junior one day
and asked for a roll in the hay.
Mr. Junior said no,
and called me a Ho.
Since then I have been a clinically diagnosed alcoholic.

8:37pm

Haha! I joke. I’m not an alcoholic. I just cry and fap a lot.

8:52pm

Haha! I joke again.

8:53pm

It’s mostly crying.

——————————

There was no immediate response. Forgetting it a while, I went to a friend’s house, watched a terrible movie, sobered up, and went home.

It wasn’t until the next morning that my partner responded, asking me if I’d had a fun night and expressing his belief that as a poetry blogger, I had a duty to share the whole debacle with the internet. I hope you found this enjoyable.

Image credit: http://dtfjihky7xwic.cloudfront.net/sites/default/files/styles/article_section/public/Restaurants/scorpion-bowl_0.jpg

Advertisements